Banning Facebook is not the answer – frape is
I can’t work out whether this story is an April Fool’s Day joke or not. Students campaigning to get rid of Facebook and Twitter from university computers? ‘Surely not’, I thought. ‘Must be a wind up’.
But that was until I recalled a moment of weakness in first year when I emailed the technicians and asked them to put a firewall around a few websites (mainly news sites and YouTube). The reply was both blunt and necessary:
“No, we can’t do that. Have some self control. 
”
That smiley face cut deep.
It’s true, though, that there is nothing more annoying than spending twenty minutes searching for a free computer, only to see student after student diligently updating their Facebook profile, or – my particular favourite – watching entire programmes on IPlayer. If there’s anything that deserves instant expulsion from university, it’s that.
Yes, yes, I know that sometimes Facebook is used for ‘academic’ purposes, such as contacting other group members, but – be honest – 99% of the time it’s not. So how can we solve this blight upon student lives? Here’s what I propose:
Frape.
Facebook rape. Mass frapeage is the only answer. If a Facebook abuser is sat next to you and leaves their page unattended, upload this photo as their profile pic, change their interests to something amusing – although not too offensive – and then pick a random name from their friends list and write ‘I love you, and I want the world to know it’ on their wall. Once completed, write so and so ‘deserved this’ in their status, before returning smugly to your work knowing that you have done one good deed for the day.
Job done. If you think this is a good idea, post a link on Facebook and spread the good word. That’ll learn ‘em…
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