Scrap the MA and face the recession

May 31, 2009
By Alex Orton

A picture cannot do the trackybottom/piss experience justice...The current economic climate seems to be offering two options to people graduating this year: Job Centre or masters.

Students are taking to the latter choice in droves, which is good from the government’s point of view because it means they’ll all be going cap in hand to their parents or the banks to round up the £5,000 fees (plus living expenses).

But is a masters really the best idea? Well yes; if mummy and daddy will pay for it or you’ve got a few quid knocking about yourself.

Now the question becomes this: Is it really worth borrowing about £12,000 just to delay joining the piss-stained trackie bottoms and Special Brew crowd on the dole for one year? At this juncture I should point out that I have been on the dole before and I’m not some twat who gets his views of the unemployed from the Daily Telegraph – I’ve seen the trackie bottoms and I’ve smelled the piss.

Owing the government about £20,000 for my undergraduate degree is one thing, it doesn’t count in credit checks and the terms of paying it back are pretty liberal. But owing a bank tens of thousands could be potentially crippling when you graduate with your masters and are still no more employable than you would have been a year ago, you’re just really in debt. Before anyone comes out with a smart-arse comment about the government owning all the banks I should point out that that isn’t going to stop them from acting like bastards to those who owe them money.

Most of the MA courses aren’t going to offer people anything to make them more attractive to employers: “Your English Literature BA didn’t have much relevance to this job, but the human resources guys were really blown away by the useful skills you must have picked up with your ‘Literature of the English Speaking World’ MA.”

So, taking out a massive bank loan to do an MA is a silly way of avoiding standing in line for your weekly 50 quid as the dole office chimes to the sounds of 17-year-old Tina battering her numerous children round the head to keep then in order as she signs on.

If you’re going to piss several grand up the wall on something that will have little relevance to your future vocation why not get into debt by going on holiday? Go to Thailand and ‘find’ yourself, even if you don’t ‘find’ yourself you might find Gary Glitter there – sell the story to the Sun and you’ve recouped your costs already.

So, man up, wriggle out of the protective cocoon of education and face the recession. You’ll only kick yourself a few years down the line when you realise how much more debt you’ve taken on by delaying the inevitable by a year.


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