5 Reasons to be cheerful about graduating

June 8, 2009
By Alex Orton

Most graduates are dreading picking up their certificates next month, it’s not the sweaty handshake from the minor dignitary, nor coughing up for the robe hire – the ceremony will likely be their last contact with student life.

After this there is the uncertain world of a shrinking job market and student debt. This year’s graduates are the first to go through university under the £3,000+ a year ‘top up’ fee system.

So instead of writing a generic ‘it’s so unfair’ piece, which I would dearly like to do, I’ve come up with five reasons to be cheerful:

1. Conversations with family and older general acquaintances no longer consist of them asking “How’s uni going?” followed by you having to think of something to say other than “I’m still getting drunk despite the workload, and I’ve started going to all the club nights I thought were shit in the first two years because I want to shag a fresher.”

Non-students don’t all talk about going to ASDA on Sunday and how they bought a new biro last week

2. You can go into a bar/pub/any retail outlet in a university town and honestly reply “No” when a member of staff says “Student are ya?” whilst making no attempt to conceal their disdain. Also no more drunk locals shouting at you for taking their taxes and staying in bed all day (unless you’re on the dole, see point 4).

3. Remember people over 25? Yes, they do exist, and they’re frequently nice chaps and chapesses. After three years of being surrounded almost entirely by the 18-22 age range you will be cast out into a world where not everyone is talking about exams and alco-pops. In turn the non-students don’t all talk about going to ASDA on Sunday and how they bought a new biro last week.

4. When you’re on the dole you get free dental care and even a few quid towards a pair of specs. You may not wear glasses, but your mother wasn’t lying when she said “doing that will turn you blind,” so you never know. Having spent about 18 months being attacked from inside by my wisdom teeth, I can’t wait to get some bloke who lacked the social skills to be a GP rooting around in my gob at the tax payers expense.

5. When the day is over, it’s really over – when you leave work there’s no extra work to do in the evening. When you leave the Job Centre there’s no going home to write a 500 word self-assessment of how your signing-on session went.

So there you have it, a few minor pleasures amid the despair. Now back to writing my article on how to choose the perfect corner to curl up and weep in, and my 20 point guide to seeing the worst of every situation.

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