Back to life, back to reality

June 12, 2009
By Julia Oliphant

The abrupt move from student life to home/working life can be an unwelcome change for many. Being quite a successful first year student I managed to get away with having only one exam two weeks before many had even started. I literally could not tell you what I did with my time after that. I probably drank alcohol, because I am a crazy student and I love drinking. Yes, I was smug. But that quiet satisfaction at my own personal brilliance has ended. Gone are the days of doing nothing. Here enter the parents and the dreaded job.

My parents came to pick me up from uni. Before we left, in front of my friends, my mum actually asked me if I needed a wee. I was mortified. What made it more embarrassing was that I turned defensive and regressed back to my angry childlike self: ‘Mum I know when I need the loo alright?!’
I didn’t go to the loo for the purpose of proving a point. Big mistake. Worst journey ever. Believe me: it’s impossible to enjoy anything when all you want to do is piss yourself.

I got annoyed with my mum for buying the wrong muesli. She had bought the one with too many nuts in – who the hell does that?

I may be mature enough now to admit that I am in no way mature enough to accept certain ‘helpful’ suggestions from my parents. My usual responses include: ‘yeah I know!’, when I have no idea what they’re talking about; sometimes just an urgent ‘Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!’, when in fact I don’t care. But my favourite is: ‘I was just about to do it!’ In case they think that I’m only doing ‘it’ because they asked me. That would really, really annoy me. Usually I had no plans to do whatever they wanted anyway, but I try to demonstrate what an adult person I have become.

I would never talk to my friends this way and I’m aware of the injustice of it all. Parents do so much for their children, but if they make the tiniest slip up they’re instantly blamed. When I was younger (ok, about a month ago) I got annoyed with my mum for buying the wrong muesli. Actually, in hindsight, that wasn’t unfair of me. She had bought the one with too many nuts in – who the hell does that?

Don’t call the social services just yet though, it’s not all doom and gloom at my house. She can get it right. I love her the most when she’s buys Crunchy Nut. In fact, parents, and ludicrously tasty cereal can be the highlights of coming home.

Unfortunately, working most definitely is not. I have gone from not one single commitment to a 9 to 5 office job. Facebook is blocked, which is a difficult concept for me to get my head around. Toilet breaks have become my salvation; my colleagues probably think I’m quite unwell. The only thing that gets me through work is the knowledge that I will return to student life.

However, then I realise that these job things are what actual human beings do, everyday, without the prospect of student regression. And it hits me. One day I’m going to be a real person. This will be my life, except I’ll have to buy my own Crunchy Nut.

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